Of Caf-POWS and Crazyness
by A PROBIE NEVER SLEEPS
Summary: Ziva David ninja assasin is sent out on the coffee run... for Abby's caf-pow! slightly CRACKfic!
1. THE IDIOM, THE PAPERCLIPS and the TEXTS!

Of Caf-Pows and crazyness...

Chapter 1: THE IDIOM, THE PAPERCLIP and the TEXTS!

Ziva's P.O.V

I woke up to my alarm clock, 05:00, time to get up...

As I was running, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, I pulled it out of my pocket, DINozzo flashed up on my screen, I clicked on it...

**Oi Zee-Vah! Don't forget coffee run this morning, I assume your out running... Strange woman. Gtg drop Tina... No wait Tania home... sweet gal! bye DA-VEED!**

Oh DINozzo, get your act together...

I texted back...

**Yes I'm out running, I thought that you said it was Thalia... Tell Gibbs I have got time so I will get Abby's **

**Caf-Pow! C u soon DINozzo!**

I ran home and started getting ready for the day, knives... Check. Sig... Check. Paper clips... Check. Phone... Check. Just time for the coffee run now!

Right...

"Hello, please can I have... One Black coffee, two caramel coffees and a milky coffee with one sugar."

"Yes, that will be $9.54. If you'd like to wait over there i'll bring them to you in a minute."

"Thank you." I said handing over the money when my phone beeped again, DINozzo flashed up on the screen, what does he want now? I thought.

**Gibbs says don't forget Abby has a mega Caf-Pow. And McCheapskate wants to know if you have $5.00. BYE T!**

What the hell...

**Why did you have to text me that? I have got $5.00. And do you really think after all this time I would not know Abby has a mega caf-pow! Hippocrit! Z! **

And send, just as I put my cell in my pocket the barista came over to me with the coffees on a cardboard tray.

"Thank You."

"Thats okay miss, have a good day."

BUZZ!

'Oh for goodness sake DINozzo!' I thought to myself.

**Ziva, that's not how hippocrit is spelt or used. T!**

Oneday I will kill DINozzo using only a paperclip, and he will not be able to choose which way! I thought.

**Oi DINozzo, look at your last text. You spelt Hippocrit the same way as I! Look who is calling the kettle black! Z!**

Right enough texting, time to get Abby's Caf-Pow! Right as I thought that...

BUZZ! I'm pretty sure a little growl may have escaped my lips as I read the text...

**The Pot ZEE-VAH. The pot is calling the kettle black! T!**

Well I thought, he can stuff his stupid american idioms, when I get to work he better have been smart enough to hide the paper clips in my desk!


	2. The thing about MINI-POWs!

CHAPTER 2: The thing about mini pows!

Ziva's P.O.V

"Um, yeah hello. Please can I have one mega Caf-Pow!"

"I'm sorry, we're all out of mega Caff's miss. We only have the mini pows in stock today, i'm sure that will be sufficient for a lady like you, you seem that you need no caffeine to keep you going." The creepy man said winking.

"It is not for me, it is for a regular, Abby scutio usually a man called Gibbs comes to get it... At least five times a day..."

"Oh," I'm very sorry,"Miss. Scutio is one of our most valued customers and I would hate to lose her business. But i'm afraid that we only have mini pows today."

"Right then, I shall have 20 mini pows in a box... Please..." I said dragging out the please.

"Really... Right then. That's 20 mini pows... $17.99 miss." He said going into the back.

How does Gibbs always manage to keep the coffees warm? I thought.

"Um miss would you like me to take these to your car? They're quite heavy."

"NO!... I will be fine... Thank you..." I said handing over the money and picking up the massive delivery box of mini Caf-pows. If this isn't friendship... Nothing is!

I put the box in the boot of my car, and got in. I pulled up in the car park and took the massive box out of the boot, Abby better be pleased with this!

As I walked through NCIS I got some strange looks... Well it wasn't surprising, considering I was carrying a massive delivery box full of miniature Caf-Pows!

As I entered the bullpen Gibbs smirked, McGee looked confused and Tony said...

"You know, Watermelon... Caf-Pows... There's not much difference..." What in gods name was he on about?

"Is thats some kind of idiom?" I said confused.

"He's referring to the movie **'Dirty Dancing' **Zi! Anyway what's with all the mini caf-pows."

"Well, the guy at the CAF-POW place said they had run out of all Caf-pows, so instead of killing him with my credit card, I bought Abby 20 mini Caf-Pows!" I said like it was obvious.

"How considerate of you Zee-Vah!" Tony said emphasizing my name.

"Oh look..." I said walking past my desk and picking up a pot of paperclips. "Tony you better hide theses before I get back!" Tony's eye widened as I walk over to the lift, I pressed the down button and nodded a Gibbs as a silent kind of message. I stepped into the lift and pressed the button for Abby's lab!


	3. Ziva and the thing about mini pows!

_hello peoples thank you for the __reviews, Teddah Bear honestly __I'm not even sure where the coffees went... and also i think i will add in about tony and his date. sorry the chapters short!_

Chapter 3: Ziva... and the MINI-POW!

Abby's P.O.V

I heard the lift ding and spun round...

"GIBBS, I HAVE BEEN WAITNG FOR MY CA... Oh hey Ziva, have you seen Gibbs I haven't had my Caf-Pow today!"

"Yes. I went on the coffee run... They ran out of mega Caf-Pows..."

"WHAT!"

"No... Abby it is okay, they had mini pows..."

"ZIVA DAVID! Do not tell me you got me a Mini-POW!"

"I did not get you a mini-pow, I got you 20!" She said pulling the box out from by the lift.

"Woah, ZIVA... THAT is FRIENDSHIP!" I said giving her one of my special Abby hugs. "ZIVA YOU ARE THE BEST! 20 mini pows! Last time they were out of mega-pows Gibbs got me one measly mini-pow. You, you get me 20."

"Um Abby, what does measly mean?"

"Never mind..." I said laughing at what I called her Zivaisms.

"Right Ziva, you are soooooo amazing, would you like a mini-pow?"

Ziva's P.O.V

"Right Ziva, you are soooooo amazing, would you like a mini-pow?" Wow Abby never offered anyone even a smell of her caf-pow, to be told she could have one of her mini-pows was unheard of!

"Yeah sure Abs I would love one." I had never tried a Caf-pow before, most of the team had but it had never really occured to me to try one of the hyper active forensic scientist's favorite drink. Abby who had already stared her mini-pow and had drunk at least half of it, grabbed a mini-pow out of the box and handed it to me.

"Ziva try the most amazing drink on earth... The Caf-pow!"

I took the mini cup and took a sip from the straw...


	4. No! BAD ZIVA!

Chapter 4: NO! Bad Ziva...

Previously on NCIS...

20 mini-pows... 3 VERY special agents, 1 Hyperactive forensic scientist and one crazy ex-mossad ninja assassin!

'I took the mini cup, and took a sip from the straw...'

No-Ones P.O.V

"So, Zivaaaaaaahhhhhh... What do you think?" Said Abby as Ziva took a sip of the amazing drink.

"It is a blessing from the sky's!" Ziva exclaimed!

"Um Zi, it's 'blessing IN DISGUISE' not from the sky's... But, I am pleased you like it!"

"Like it? ABBY IT IS .ZING! It is the best part of sliced bread!"

"ZI! Since sliced bread... Oh never mind..."

"ABBY! It does not matter, I have got CAF-POW now! I need no bread!"

"Oh my god! FINALLY someone who shares the same views as me!"

Ziva's P.O.V

OH MY GOD! I thought to myself, this is the most amazing dink ever! I need more of it. I must have more! Abby has introduced me to a world that makes sense! How is everyone not addicted to this stuff!

"Abby! May I have another?" I said to Abby who was now on her 3rd Caff-Pow!.

"Sure Zi... Have another!"

No Ones P.O.V

20 minutes and 10 mini-pows each later...

"ZIVAHHHHHHHHHHH! WHERE ARE YOOOOOUUUUUU? WHERE ARE YOU HIDINGGGGGGG! I LURVE YOU ZIIIIIII-VAHHHHHHHH!"

"ABBBBBYYYYY! DO NOT FEAR AS I AM ONLY UNDER THE TABLE!"

Back at the bull-pen...

"DINozzo... Have you seen agent David anywhere?" Gibbs said walking back from MTAC.

"Not since she went down to Abby's lab boss..." Said Very Special Agent DINozzo.

"UM Boss... You don't think Abby may have..."

"McGee! Has Ziva ever tried Caf-Pow!"

"Um... Well...'

"HAS SHE EVER TRIED IT!?"

"UM... No boss I don't think so."

"RIGHT, McGEE... DINozzo... We need to get to Abby's lab, pronto!"

"On it Boss." Both agents replied .

Gibb's P.O.V

Oh God we could have a problem, if Ziva's never had Caf-Pow before, then we are quite frankly doomed! The last time something like this happened...

FLASHBACK:

**Probie, Timothy McGee, new recruit NCIS. His first ever coffee run had included Abby's Caf-pow... **

**"Oi, Probie!"**

**"Oh, hello Antony. You okay? Sir..."**

**"Yeah, um I was just wondering if you wanted to get abby's Caf-Pow for her?" Tony said slyly, he did not want to be the one facing a cranky abby on a monday deprived of caffeine, and her hourly Caf-pow after having to have de-caf for a week. So whilst on his way to his desk a brilliant thought had struck him... Get probie to do it. How was he supposed to know that Abby would overdose him on Caf-Pow and literally send him into a CAFFEINE induced coma... Anyway if it was anyones fault it was Gibbs, he had told Abby she wasn't allowed caffeine for a week, it was hardly his fault she got addicted to those things...**

End FLASHBACK.

The lift opened to reveal a very strange scene, Ziva David, Ninja Assassin and Abigail Scutio, running around the lab singing 'the sound of music' and wearing bunny ears (where did they come from?)I got out my phone and started videoing the strange scene! Just as I was thinking how to blackmail Ziva with this... Gibbs turned round and gave me a head slap.

"DINozzo! Focus!"

"Sorry Boss!" I said making sure to save the video before going in to help Gibbs and probie.

No-ones P.O.V

"No! Bad ZIVA! Put it down!" Shouted DINozzo as Ziva picked up a mini-pow cup and aimed it at him! Cause funnily enough... He didn't think that being hyper would effect that ninja aim!


	5. Abby, What is TIVA?

Chapter 5: Abby... What is Tiva?

"No! BAD ZIVA! Put it down!"

"OHHHHHHHHHH, DINoooooooooozzoooooooo! YOU KNOW I CANNOT DOOOOO THATTTTTTTT! I DO NOT WANT TO HURTTTTTT YOOOOUUUU!"

"Yeah! TOOOONNNNNNYYYYYYY SHE LURVS YOU! YOU ARE TOOOONNNY AND SHE IS ZIVA AND TOGETHER YOU ARE TIVA!"

"Abbbbbbbyyyyyyyy! What is TIVAAAAAAAHHHHH?" Ziva said running round in circles.

"TIVA is Tony lurves Ziva!"

Tony's P.O.V

Christ, what's Abby on about... Like me and Ziva would ever... Like I would like Ziva...

_Flashback to the night before..._

_Tony's flat!_

**_No-ones P.O.V_**

**_Tony was lying in bed._**

**_"Tina, you still awake? Tina."_**

**_"What do you mean Tina, it's Thalia..."_**

**_"Oh God sorry, Tara."_**

**_"IT'S THALIA!"_**

**_"Right, sorry..." _**

**_3 hours later_**

**_"Ziva..." Tony snored and rolled over, "Zi... Ziva, but... Zivah!"_**

**_Thalia's P.O.V_**

**_What, who's Ziva... First of all he can't even remember my name... And then he mutters about someone else in his sleep! _**

_End Flashback_

"Abbbbbyyyyygaillll I do not lurve Tony as much as a lurve you!"

"Awwwwwww Ziva!"

McGee's P.O.V

"Um Boss... What do you think was in those Caf-POWs?" I said turning to Gibbs as Abby and Ziva started throwing cups at Tony.

"Unfortunately McGee I just think they may have had to much Caffeine... Remind you of anyone?" Oh god, bring up the caffeine coma why don't you!

"No! Ziva! Let go!" I stared at the scene before me, Ziva had her body wrapped round Tony's legs, whilst Abby was still throwing things!

"Right boss this has got a little bit out of hand..."

"You think McGee!" He said giving me a headslap, then suddenly...

"Ummm, boss!" We turned to look at DINozzo and saw Abby and Ziva asleep on the floor at Tony's feet.

"Oh dear... Tony take Ziva home and make sure she doesn't have caffeine for the next few days... And McGee do the same for Abby please. You can all have the rest of the day off... And I will see all of you early Monday morning..."

"Okay, thank you boss!" Tony and I said simultaneously.

Gibbs' P.O.V

DINozzo and McGee both headed towards the lift carrying the girls bridal style.

"Oh and boys," I said as they turned round, "don't forget... Rule 12!" Oh who am I kidding I thought... That rule will never last with these lot.

"Yes Boss!" They both said as the lift closed. Well then I thought, I better go ring the Caf-Pow manager, tell him we won't be seeing him for a few days...


End file.
